This is a dog in a Christmas sweater. It is humiliated. Not because of its sweater, but because of the figgy pudding it just whipped up under the family Christmas tree.
This is a gingerbread goat. It appears to be munching on fake candy canes. But it's not. Gingerbread goat isn't hungry because earlier it ate the foreskin from gingerbread baby Jesus.
This is Krampus. If Santa were God, Krampus would be Satan. While Santa brings all the good children toys, Krampus stuffs naughty children into his enormous biodegradable tote bag and takes them to see the new really awful Hobbit movie.
This is a merrily-dressed woman walking to her job at a local bookshop. Boy, is she going to scare the shit out of some people in the geography section.
This is the Abominabababable Snowman. His favorite food is Christmas elf who really wants to be a dentist, but he'll settle for the rest of what's in your really sad Christmas Day KFC bucket.
This is a major award.
This is Denver's Civic Center. If you look close, you can see that Jesus' foreskin is missing. A couple of years ago the city of Denver had to put the Christmas nativity behind glass so hipsters couldn't just run up and steal the trendy facial hair off the wise men.
