If you didn’t know that Laura Ingraham is the butt end of a
warthog, now you do. And if you’re not getting great pleasure watching so many
of her sponsors walk away from her garbage pail of ideas, you’re also wrong. It’s perfectly acceptable—healthy even—to question the motives of
positively anyone (see, buy, read The Missionary Position). Even a student activist who’s recently survived a school shooting. But make
sure you think through your criticism before you heave a balloon full
of baboon’s blood from your marble tower. Make sure you have a thoughtful reason to question
that person’s actions, motives, clothing, whatever, and that you’re not just
using your widely-followed Twitter account to try and publicly shame his 4.2
grade point average (bitch, please). Because that makes you an asshole. A
bully. A person devoid of morals.
This isn't just Ingraham's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad angle shame show regarding the Parkland survivors and their motives. We must congratulate another pillar of corn-laden poop, Rick Santorum, who also last week decided to dip his pasty toes into the shit river of bad ideas
when he said on CNN, in response to student protests of gun violence, “How
about kids, instead of looking for someone else to solve their problem, do something
about maybe taking CPR classes, or trying to deal with situations that when
there is a violent shooter, that you can actually respond to that.” Santorum should be carnival crane clawed from the public
forum of plush toys based solely on his poor use of language, but he’s also chock full of bad
ideas. Again, it’s healthy to question positively everything, but telling kids who've been shot at that they shouldn’t worry about stopping bullets from entering their bodies, but about figuring out how to
use their Justin Bieber t-shirts as tourniquets is perhaps a little much. I'm all for ripping up a Justin Bieber t-shirt, but that reasoning is as upside down as Melania Trump leading an anti-bullying charge. And for that head-up-his-ass approach, Rick Santorum shall be punished in the form of living the rest of his life as himself.
In case you haven't had your fill of meatloaf-level reasoning, Ted Nugent, the saddest thing to happen to a guitar since God told Abraham to take his Fender up to Moriah and smash it on a rock, has opened his face hole and let from it pour more retrograde, beef jerky-smelling drivel, calling Parkland survivors "liars," saying they "have no soul" because of their criticism of gun rights. Not that we should ever take a man wearing a dead opossum on his head seriously, but allow me to remind you that he's a media cousin of Alex Jones -- who claims the Sandy Hook school shooting was a government hoax, that child actors were used to perpetuate the illusion, and that no one died in the massacre -- who reaches 2.5 million people every month and is making a fortune on their unwillingness and/or inability to sort fact from fiction. Jones has called Parkland survivors crisis actors who are being paid to attack gun rights. These guys are bloviators. But they're bloviators (Nugent's a mere bloviating idiot, while Jones is a bloviating con man taking advantage of weak minds) who are probably on Trump's list for "Guy in Charge of Calming Shit Down," and they're bloviators with an audience. Many people don't have the ability to reason, and so allow the dangerous anti-democratic swirlings from brains like Nugent's, Jones's, Ingraham's, and Santorum's to corrupt their own neurons. Point is, if someone attacks another person, but cannot back up their criticism with evidence that is not a quote from their Uncle Kenny's blog, maybe look a little deeper, because sometimes Uncle Kenny is a little too full of Bud Light and Funyons to really get to the root of things. By all means, criticize a shooting victim who criticizes gun rights. But maybe stitch your shirt sleeves back onto your camo button-up, be open to the possibility of changing your mind, and Google "reason" before you do.
Now, after so many sponsors have made an exodus away from
her show, Ingraham’s announced she’s taking a week-long “Easter Break.” But,
even if she does rise again, let’s hope nobody rolls the stone away from her
tomb so she can spend a little time poring over her lack of morals while she
waits to die again, then slowly decomposes into a human soup of bad choices – the most thoughtful thing Ingraham and other critics of her caliber could do for all of
us.
