Because I write the jokes five days a week, I read a lot of flipping news. Every news site has a health page, the new black. Most of the supposed news on these health pages is about fat people: scientists find that jogging may help fat people be less fat; Twinkies add to waistline, scientists say; studies show that eating the family dog may be a sign of fatness; etc. Do you think that, when every health-related story our nation produces is written, not with ink, but with trans fats, that we maybe have a problem? Regardless, I urge you to visit your favorite online news source's Obesity Update before some fat guy eats it.
Speaking of Twinkies, I read today that President Bush is vetoing legislation that would force interrogators to knock off the waterboarding already. Wikipedia tells me that this torture tool is like drowning, but with a way cool burlap bag over your head. Here's a fun waterboarding picture:
Here's a better one:
Notice in the first picture how merry the waterboarders seem. Proof that systematic torture can be fun. But I suppose if you watch American Idol, you already know that. And doesn't it appear as if the torturer in the second picture is getting the building janitor back for a bad office prank? I mean, really, who does their torturing in a tie? Anywhoo (does that annoy you?), Waterboard or Die, right Bushy? Oh, and Save the Whale Steaks.
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