Things You Might See Walking Out of a Convenience Store

Yesterday I was driving my husband home from the train station (dude, get a pair of Wheelies, already, am I right?), and we were passing a dirty old convenience from which a man with a bottle of soda and a limp were hobbling. I would've turned to Levi, but that's very unsafe, so I just stared straight ahead and said, "I've got my Mountain Dew, I've got my wooden leg..." That's it. That's all I said, and Levi was impressed by me for the rest of the evening. Life is good.