Around the same time of the theater shooting on Friday the 20th, I woke up in a panic. In my dream Magnum P.I. broke into my house. It was Mexican Tom Selleck, and he was complete with corduroy short-shorts and a Colt pistol. He held Levi and me hostage while he, I don't know, raided our closets for button down Hawaiian shirts? Anyway, I was scared enough that it woke me up, and all I could think was "I need a gun. I'll put it right here by the bed where I can grab it approximately two minutes after some asshole's already in my house because I wear earplugs at night and will sleep through the breaking window sound." So there's that.
A few months ago Levi had a dream that the giant, white, wolf-like dog that lives four blocks away attacked us. Then, that morning, that same exact very same dog was sniffing around our driveway, trying to get into our backyard. So there's that, too.
I know it's unbelievable, but last night I had a dream that Pee-Wee Herman narrated the new Batman movie. Then this happened:
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