Goodwill goes grammar-free

I like the Goodwill -- it's smart, it's economical, it's an experience. It is, however, generally not fart-free; every time you shop at a Goodwill, it's pretty much guaranteed you're going to get tooted on by a stranger wearing a pair of violet velour stretch pants. That aside, the Goodwill is a great way to not waste things. Except for apostrophes, apparently:

I was at the Goodwill on a half-off Saturday, which is sort of like dipping yourself in nacho cheese, then going to the Super Bowl. The place was thick with scavengers, and let me tell you -- extreme bargain shoppers are motherfucking relentless. There's junk in the Goodwill they didn't even know they wanted, but when they find it, bless their used underpants souls, they want it bad to the bone. I didn't have the patience to wade through all of the sale-damp flesh to get photos of the other posters, but trust me, there are as many apostrophes missing from the Goodwill's posters as there are navajo sofas in the basement. All I'm saying is, hey, Goodwill -- maybe don't let the "special" people on the side of your truck do your grammar check.