Newsletter

Lady Gaga says she still has moments when she feels like a loser. And in those moments she refers to herself as Lady Sweatpants.

[above: Lady Gaga changing out of her sweatpants]

Donald Trump says President Obama wasn't qualified for the Ivy League. It's the usual Ivy League problem -- too many brains, not enough hair.

Some scientists think the universe may have begun as a one dimensional line. And if you've checked Snooki's Twitter account recently, things have more or less come to a complete circle.

Donald Trump thinks "our leaders are stupid". Which is a funny thing to say when they're not the ones who let Gary Busey into their office.

George W. Bush declined an invitation from President Obama to attend an observance at New York's ground zero. He would've loved to go, but he had squares and circles and triangles to fit into a wooden box.

"Thor" was number one at the box office over the weekend. You know, Thor -- God of Milk Duds.

Sarah Palin has asked a judge to extend a restraining order against a man accused of stalking her. Can you believe it? This guy would throw a newspaper onto Sarah's doorstep every morning and just ride away on his bicycle.

Lady Gaga plans to make a cameo on Facebook's FarmVille. And boy will those chickens be confused when they hatch THAT egg.

San Francisco is trying to ban the distribution of phone books. Some people are outraged, as it could force small children to sit on Sarah Palin memoirs in order to reach the table.

Bristol Palin says she had reconstructive jaw surgery, and not plastic surgery. That's what they all say before they beat up their first Betty Ford nurse.

Leonardo DiCaprio and his supermodel girlfriend have split. Just goes to show -- a girl can only wait around for her boyfriend to fall off the ship wreckage for so long.

Queen Elizabeth has become the UK's second-longest reigning monarch. That makes two records Queen Elizabeth is close to achieving -- longest reigning monarch and quickest time through the original Mario Brothers.

Republicans are upset about President Obama inviting a rapper to a White House poetry night. There are rappers, there's basketball, there are cool handshakes -- it's almost like a black guy's President.

Flood gates have been opened in Mississippi. Thanks goodness obesity floats.

Lady Gaga and Madonna are distant cousins. No wonder their potato salad recipes taste so similar.

Justin Bieber was egged during a Sydney performance. This kid is really getting huge -- I mean, first it's young girls, and now young chickens are throwing themselves at him.

A scientist claims that the last supper was a day earlier than originally thought. And, yes, that was the day Jesus and the disciples tried putting a Peep in the microwave.

The lawsuit that sought to force Taco Bell to stop calling the meat it serves "beef" has been dropped. This after Taco Bell agreed to start calling the brown stuff in its tacos "meef".

President Obama toured Facebook headquarters. And everything was going just fine until he fell into the chocolate river.

657 new islands have been discovered worldwide. In other words, that's 657 seasons of "Survivor" before they have to start filming in Detroit.

NASA says no American astronauts have had sex in space. But only because they haven't yet figured out a way to dehydrate Snooki.