Levi and I were in Home Depot today returning something without a receipt like the homeless guy I once saw in Home Depot trying to return a box of nails without a receipt, only we got store credit and the homeless guy got the boot. Which he took and I'm sure enjoyed since he had no shoes. I'm in the car while Levi picks out a bottle of Raid so later we can play ant Hitler when I get a phone call that he needs more money, so I come back inside where the Home Depot greeter does his job well and says hello, can I help you. I'm usually not jokey with strangers, but I think I tripped a wire at Lake Powell last week, maybe snapped something important in my neck, because A) I currently can't move my head sideways, and B) I said to the greeter, "Can you help me find my husband?" And you know what? Yes he could. "He was over there looking at the pesticides, then I think he went out to the garden area, but I'm pretty sure he came back this way." Meanwhile I'm thinking maybe too many important neck cords were severed and I'm now hallucinating because this guy knows who my husband is and where he's been. We're down a strip of garden metal and a bag of sand, but my mind is totally blown.
And that's not all. While I was walking to meet Levi at the register, I fell in synch with a large, extra tall version of Humpty Dumpty. Levi told me later that together we looked like an example from a beginning Spanish textbook: gordo y flaca. I'm glad that Spanish textbook moment ended when it did because those characters usually end up having lots of inane conversations with one another, and I had no idea where the bathroom was or where he could find a lime.
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