The ladies behind whom you should not stand

Here they are, the ladies behind whom you should not stand:

Don't stand behind them, or they will the delay the making of your sandwich by approximately ten minutes. They will ask to sample the asparagus (it tastes like asparagus!). They will ask to sample the macaroni salad (it tastes like macaroni salad!). They will ask to sample the spinach soup (it tastes like spinach soup!). They will ask to sample the chicken salad (it tastes like chicken salad!). 

The big hats are for keeping the sun from scorching their smugness. Unfortunately, they also block the illusion that there are other people in line. If I had to guess, I'd guess that these ladies also drive their Lexus luxury eggs while wearing these hats, so watch the fuck out; the big hats yield only to things marinated in balsamic vinegar and that fit into a tiny plastic cup.