Monday, May 7, 2012

Newsletter

Jessica Simpson gave birth to a baby girl. Or, as Jessica is referring to her, a little princess of the sea.


Ann Romney has called her husband "wild and crazy". I mean, did you see the part in his hair yesterday? 

"Dog Whisperer" Cesar Milan just got divorced. His wife didn't sit, she didn't stay, and she certainly didn't know when to come.

Justin Bieber is giving away golden tickets. Which is really exciting, especially if you like a chocolate river that tastes like hairspray.

According to a new scientific paper, sex-for-hire robots will be available by 2050. But let's focus on a robot that can make a decent hamburger first, shall we?

Controversial US pastor Terry Jones has burned another Koran. Somebody get that guy a stick and a marshmallow already.

John Edwards' trial continues. John finds taking the stand to be much like running for office -- you get up in front of people and promise to them you're not telling lies.

A New Jersey mother has been accused of letting her 5-year-old daughter use a tanning bed. Even worse, last week she let her kid get into the hot tub with "Jersey Shore's" The Situation.

Earlier this week Ann Romney wore a blouse that sells for a thousand dollars. And you know what else? She parks it in her two hundred and seventeen-blouse garage.

Michelle Bachmann will endorse Mitt Romney. She already said she doesn't think he can beat President Obama, but, you know, at least he's not a woman.

Edvard Munch's iconic "The Scream" sold for a record price at nearly $120 million. You know "The Scream" -- it's that painting of a man reacting to news that Newt Gingrich is endorsing Mitt Romney.

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