"I have to have a talk with you."

"I have to have a talk with you," is what my mom said after I told her that, no, I had not been cooking for the man in my life.  Not to say this never happens, the cooking, but I was eager to discourage what I think she was implying: "If you don't cook for him, it's all over."  

Maybe she's right.  Maybe cakes and casseroles foster the finest relationships.  Maybe, instead of talking with him, trying to understand him, doing my best to know his heart and his mind, I should fashion some sort of food chute through which I might send these cakes and casserole directly to his stomach.  That way I'll never take the chance of faulting during conversation, and he'll always be full.  

[In the photo you see how my mother answers the door.]

Speaking of full, if you didn't yet know, Pamela Anderson has co-penned (i.e. selected the font for) a novel entitled "Star Struck."  This book can be found, oftentimes faced, in the fiction corral of your local bookstore.  

The first chapter: You Shook Me All Night Long

The first line: "Why do my nipples hurt? was Star's first thought as she woke from a strangely deep sleep, her hands gliding along her naked body to the tender nipples that had awakened her." 

Pam Anderson has big boobies.

Pam Anderson writes about boobies, probably big.

Big-boobied Pam Anderson gets her novel about boobies, probably big, published.

Creative writer with little boobies suspects big-boobied Pam Anderson got her big-boobied novel published because Pam Anderson has big boobies.

Creative writer with little boobies wishes, just for a second, that she had big boobies.

Creative writer, in subsequent seconds to wish for big boobies, is satisfied with having bigger words than boobies.