Screw the Pyramids of Giza, the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and the Temple of Artemis; seems to me that nog is the only substantial wonder of the world. The most mysterious substance of the holiday season, nog breaks down racial barriers, feeds starving children, and hangs Christmas decorations in no time. And it's much talked about. Here's what a few famous people are saying about nog:
"Too noggy."
Roger Ebert
"I did not...have...egg nog with that woman."
-Bill Clinton
"Doesn't really fit down my throat."
-O.J. Simpson
"Fucking great shit!"
-Mother Teresa
Let's take a closer look at nog, shall we?
When the egg met the nog:
[standard-size white chicken egg dressed in formal party fare (tuxedo, bow tie) introduces itself to nog, who is draped in holiday table runners tacked with a variety of tassels and occasional pine cones.]
Egg: Hi, I'm the egg.
Nog: [Steps to the left, shakes tassels.]
Egg: So, you're the nog, right?
Nog: [Steps, again, to the left, shakes tassels, a pine cone falls.]
Egg: I think we're going to be working together. How about that?
Nog: Eeeeeeeeeee! [Detaches a pine cone from its chest and eats it. Runs to punch bowl, sticks head in and blows bubbles.]
Alright, I admit that I know exactly what nog is: a drink consisting of milk or cream, sugar, and eggs beaten together. Fine. It's well-defines and tasty as hell. I just wanted to write about nog in my blog.
The sad thing about living in Africa is you don't really crave that wonderful, thick, comforting drink when it's 80 degrees outside and you're sunburned so badly you can still see EXACTLY where your bikini was.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas from SA.