Medium Cooper

It's time for my occasional mechanical obsession. Last time it was a blender (YOU go from whipping cream with a fork to a KitchenAid). This time it's an automobile. Mini has come out with a new tiny car, only this one is a little less tiny, a little more...medium. But Medium Cooper doesn't sound good, I guess, so they're just calling it a Mini. Which means now I have a couple of problems with Mini -- they've labeled a Medium a Mini, and, more importantly, they do not use midgets in their advertisements.

This is the new Countryman, Mini's latest bean on wheels. As you can see, the people in the picture think it's so handsome, they've collapsed.

It looks a little bit tiny. Certainly tinier than most cars. But mini? To show you how decidedly medium this Mini is, here's the Countryman next to an original Cooper. Elephant in the room? I think yes.

Countryman: GREETINGS, TINY CAR!

Cooper: Wee, wee, wee, wee!

And here's the modern Cooper next to the Countryman. Not that huge a difference, I guess. But where the fuck are the midgets?