For the Ladies

"A man may work from sun to sun, but woman's work is never done." A woman said that to me right after I walked out of my kitchen.

"I can't imagine a single dad raising a child -- it would be so much harder for a man to have to do that." I heard a woman say that.

"Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" A woman said that to me before Levi and I were married.

Attention! Good news! Women don't have to say things like this anymore! Many women have fought very hard so that my He-Man action figures could have a winter Caslte Grayskull and a summer Castle Grayskull. So that I could sometimes be the half of the heterosexual couple that sits in her underpants on the couch watching football while her husband cleans the countertops. Still don't believe me?

This is a picture of a woman voting. She would like to abolish the hat tax.

This is a photo of a woman doing woman's work. She's undercooking a chicken-based soup, which later liberated her husband's bowels.

This is a photo of a woman throwing her bra into the Freedom trash can.

She did it so that women would be free to cover their breasts with even more uncomfortable garments.

This is a photo of Sandra Day O'Connor. She's the first woman to sit in the female section of the Supreme Court lunchroom.

This is a photo of Danica Patrick. She's the first woman to drive in an Indy race wearing nothing but a set of pasties.

This is a photo of Kim Kardashian. She's the first woman to stuff a quilt into her underpants.

Ladies, by the power of Grayskull, you are liberated! Now get out there in your high heeled boots, your weird little mini-skirt/cape bustier thing, put on your golden tiara, and let your golden mane flow in the winds of Ete. Get that mighty sword out and use it as something other than a casserole-cutter.