Newt Gingrich is upset about President Obama's plan to offer free birth control. Newt thinks he's mad about that, wait'll he hears about the President's plan to offer women free divorce control.
Queen Elizabeth and her new granddaughter-in-law, Kate, are teaming up for a royal event. I don't know about Kate, but the Queen will be there, which means there will be doughnuts on a string.
Tim Tebow says politics may be in his future. What Tim doesn't know is that, in politics, the interns are supposed to do all of the kneeling.
New Jersey is flying its flags at half mast for Whitney Houston. Which would be an honor if Jersey hadn't flown its flags at half mast when Snookie tripped over an empty bottle of rum and hit her head on a hot tub.
A skydiver plans to attempt a record-breaking supersonic space jump. That explains why Mitt Romney has that new ad out proposing to limit Americans' intake of Mountain Dew.
Sarah Palin has an article in Newsweek. And a noun, and an adverb, and a preposition.
Rick Santorum is calling Mitt Romney "Mr. Big Government". Which is creepy, since that's what Mitt's wife calls him in bed.
Google has an entertainment device in the works. Word has it it'll be the most expensive ribbon on a stick ever.
Oprah's apologizing. Which I think is one of the signs of the second coming.
A 14 year-old who went to college at 8 has written a book. Meanwhile, I've learned how to eat a Dorito off of my elbow.
Rick Santorum has a new plan for America. He's not saying what it is, but I have a feeling it involves a man and a woman and a sweater vest.
Angelina Jolie broke down at the premier of her new movie. She was so emotional, she ended up adopting her Sour Patch Kids.
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