Sunday, April 1, 2012

Newsletter

Mr. Universe 1952 has turned 100. Everything looks good, although his sash is getting a little wrinkly.


Easter is just around the corner. You know Easter -- the day we celebrate the resurrection of the honey baked ham.


It's Spring. The flowers are blooming, the sun is shining, the sweater vests are melting away.


Dick Cheney is recovering from a heart transplant. The hardest part was keeping the deep fryer going while the doctor removed the old heart.


Alabama is considering a law that would make it more difficult for married people to get divorced. It's called the Hiring a Maid bill.


Newt Gingrich is now charging $50 for photos with him at his events. One hundred if you want one with him in a bunny suit.


Nine-pound Gambian rats are invading the Florida Keys. That's the bad news. The good news is they're all carrying trays full of pina coladas.


A Twitter prank that Justin Bieber pulled in Texas may lead to a lawsuit. It's something Justin should be concerned about, because in Texas, if you pull the wrong Twitter prank, you go straight to death row.

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